Sunday 30 August 2015

内心的堆积

小白回来了。
小白,一只自来流浪狗。取名小白,固然是因为一身雪白的毛发。刚开始它都躲在住家外的 van 车下躲日晒躲雨淋。跟我们接触时身形残瘦还频发抖,不敢猜想它被虐待或欺凌。 
后来在家人的喂食及互动,它健康成长,胃口都翻了好几倍。每每吃饭时间,它都乖乖呆在大门外,看见我们走出来,就不停地跳跃撒娇。
可是却不曾听过它的吠声,曾让我们一度认为它可能是只哑巴狗。后来在 Boy Boy 的“带领”下,它仿佛领略了吠的定义。凡是看见陌生人路经我家门外便开始作声。
它很乖,从不乱跑地。即便出去玩,也会定时回来。
可是这一个月,它时不时不见踪影。没人知道它的行踪。
终于,它刚回来了。
可是却不再活泼。眼睛一直眯着睁不开。喂食它也不吃。走路很慢很无力。尾巴一直往下摆,害怕。可是身上并没有伤口。隔壁邻居说,它可能被打,或是被车撞到了。
我不禁怀疑是不是对面邻居干的好事。
一直以来,对面邻居就跟大家不太友好,再加上他们家的千金都是势利眼。刚开始看见我们家在喂食小白,千金居然很不客气很没礼貌地跟我妈投诉,说它到处排便。我说啊,势利眼的人脑袋总是不太好,竟然有意叫我们放弃小生命,天啊,残忍至极。
当然,是否虐待小白,我是无凭无据。但不要给我找到证据,我一定会全力追击。
现在,我希望小白平安无事赶快恢复身体及心灵上健康。

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刚才,亲戚之间发生了不开心之事。
原本开开心心的聚餐,却因为某些长辈的不理智把气氛搞僵,还让婆婆大声喝止,甚至我爸也跳出局面解围。
事情结束得不算圆满,因为有长辈逃避责任不肯面对,还外出喝酒麻醉自己。
我深深体会平时文静至极,举止斯文的晚辈,却因爱父母心切,担忧及心疼父母才做出的冲动举动。
也看见了一位人妻,有苦无法诉,柔弱地忍耐几十年来的欺压。
而平日威严的父亲,夹杂在亲人之间的痛楚,难做人。
能做的,我们都使尽全力。
受苦受难的,苦尽甘会来的。
老爸为了保护被欺压的,终于开声了,还说要欺负另一家,请先过老爸这一关。
我们这一家,也是被欺压过来的,所以没在怕的。
道理就是,双方都有错。一方道歉认错,并不表示另一方就可以大摇大摆拍拍屁股走人。
真理,就在我们的信念之中。
很快,就会有出头天。
家和万事兴。
我也希望,马来西亚这美丽的国家尽快恢复她美丽繁华的颜面。
因为我爱我的家。

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我一直强调,出席净选联盟的勇士们,一定得清楚明白这项活动的意义及宗旨,不要只是为了风潮为了炫耀而盲目地出席。
感恩理智的勇士;感恩自愿救护队;感恩自愿清洁队,感恩爱马来西亚的人民。
净选联盟目前带来的实际改变或许不大,但它的无形影响力你不得不屈服。
改革绝对不是一两载之事,这路虽然艰辛,可有多少前辈们证明了它的可行性。
大马人,不要害怕改变,不要畏惧烂势利。
记住,为了我们的下一代,为了更美好的未来,我们都得团结一心。
致那无耻的首相,没出席净选联盟的人民并不表示心与你同在,你说了不害臊,我听了都恶心。给你台阶下,不要不识抬举让自己难堪,结局会不堪设想哦。

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说到团结,我要丢回时间到今年的中学常年运动会。
因为老弟的最后一年,我们家全力支持。
我看到老弟的付出,除了追求自己的成就,更是为了自身的队伍。
纵使比赛发生了小插曲,大弟因为接力赛与队员大意而跌棒,失去了原有的名次。
大弟到达终点的时候不敢直视我们,反而到角落默默落泪,我们知道他很是自责。
感恩,老弟拥有一班好朋友们,给予的信任及鼓励,身为姐姐的我们历历在目。
最终,老弟们都达成了终极目标及对自身的期许。
看见他们与身旁的朋友们雀跃万分,从无知,到充满责任感、使命感,了解成功必须付出努力方能达成,我满是欣慰。
坦白说,当我站在观众席观看老弟的队伍操步敬礼时,我感动的眼泪不停滑落。
团结力量真是大,大到让泪珠凝结,夺眶而出。
同时,下午班的毛小孩们,真让我跌破眼镜。我感慨,为什么现代的年轻人如此轻言放弃,甚至以身体虚弱来作借口。
绝对有必要对他们灌输所谓的运动家精神。
国家未来的栋梁,真有必要醒觉。当然,家长的责任是难免的。
所以一代接一代,教育仍是最重要的关键。

Monday 10 August 2015

Multi Camera Production

How should I express my feelings into words?

My position was the scriptwriter.
I actually wanted to try many other positions but I knew, this time I had to put down myself.
For a team of twenty, this number was a lot.
I saw a lot of them really wanted to learn, which I had not seen them being such eager and passionate before.
Being a scriptwriter did not mean that I could not help in other aspects, thus it wasn't a matter for me even though I really really wished to participate more during production.

For a large group of crews, we all knew that there must be conflict or problem.
Luckily, ultimately we all managed to settle and let go the anger among us.

To talk about pre-production, I could see we were the only class who struggled.
The TV Programme was chose because this proposal got a very good feedback and we could see how much the lecturer hoped we make it.

Make A Wish, a platform for audiences to express their feelings to certain people.
The purpose is to help the audiences improve their relationships with one another.

Since we thought that we must come out with a whole new backdrop for our mock-live TV programme, hence we made it.
The process ain't easy, it really needed efforts.
No matter art department or non-department, for those who contributed, I really appreciated.
We stayed back at campus until late night, we stayed up the nights, just to contribute our best, to make things right.

Here it came the day, 8/8/2015.
Our heart-warming DA Violin had prepared us the egg-mayo breakfast.
The thoughtful FM Chia Rong bought some no cheese breads for Director Ant.
We tried to wake and calm each other in the cold early morning.
From the time we stepped in mini studio, I saw everyone's seriousness.
That was the time I was sure, M3RBC2' 2015, we could make it!

A short sharing session or kinda post-mortem session was carried out after we've done the recording.
Comments were given out by the lecturer.
Surprisingly, there were numbers of us in tears.
I was touched, and impressed.
Words were not enough.
As what Ant said "Feelings are the answer".

Can we all stop counting down how much days till the day we graduate?
=')

To Ivan (producer): You really suit this position and you have much more experiences than everyone of us. You are an observant, you always realised and foresaw the problem that we did not consider of. You just need learn how and when to stand out.Remember what Mr Kamarul told you? Know your role, you had the authority to give comment and even give advices to the crew.

To Siao Mun (PM): The dispassionate PM I've ever worked with, who observed during works and immediately gave us your hands whenever we needed help. Thank you for helping when I was nervous during production, seriously your steadiness did calm me at the time.

To Chee Ant (director): Stop blaming yourself, you were doing good, you did your best. I know there were so much stress from you yourself because you are a perfectionist, and probably the lecturer had her expectation too. It was everyone's first time., didn't you teach me, everyone makes mistakes in life but the most importantly, at least we must try our best, and then learnt from the mistakes we made. Be more confident in handling such position, you have improved a lot and I know surely you will never stop developing yourself.

To Violin (AD): The emotional girl who tried very best in self-improving and braved to challenge yourself. What makes me admire you is your ready to help attitude. Even though you knew you had not much strength in skills, but your helpful hands and enthusiasm did help us a lot. I know you are a person who mostly cannot survive without sleep, but this semester you sacrificed a lot, including this time. You frequently pekcek or panicked because you over worried on things sometimes. Learn to be calm, you are a learning model of mine. Undoubtedly, this time you did a very great job.

To Yee Mei (switcher): Everyone knows how crazy you can be played around and how serious you are when come to learning and group performing, although at first you were very blur to handle the MCP but on the actual day, you did it well. Once again you showed us, practices make perfect.

To Chia Rong (FM): My pleasure to assist you. I must admit that at the very beginning I doubted about your ability in taking this position because you always showed us the playful side of yours. Indeed, you proved I was wrong, and you are amazing. You took care of others, being the clown to make people happy, most of the time you sacrificed yourself, without questioning who really cares about you. Step by step, I saw you asked for direction, you put efforts for our production and eventually, you had completed your mission perfectly. Thank you for guiding and tolerating me, you are one of my inspirations.

To DOP:
First and foremost, Tevia, a strong girl and a sentimental girl as well. Efficient and conscious partner and supportive friend you are. A perfectionist when talking about cinematography or overall, art sense, who paid much efforts in pre-production, and also production, especially in helping the other two DOP.
Second DOP, Sin Huei. I was shocked when I knew that you were taking this position because you did not seem having interest and ability in cinematography. Anyway, everyone worth a try. I would say you should try to sort things out whenever there's trouble, be more independent and think of solution first instead of kept looking for help or answer. Still a good job you had done.
Third DOP, Carmen, a girl who wants to improve yourself all f the time, this is good, but at the same time it is kinda selfish act because you only cared about your performance. The lecturer said she originally doubted your ability but I did not, I know you are good in cinematography and being a DOP is your dream. However, your blurriness or I should say your "no sense" manner had caused trouble to the others, it made people suffered so much to communicate with you and indirectly dropped the efficiency of works.

To lighting:
Yee Ping, confident and know what should be done and what shouldn't. You are really excellent in arts, thank you for helping in doing the backdrop. I did not work with you before so I didn't know your greatest strength and weakness. Though I thought that you had not experienced in controlling lighting but I was wrong, you did it pretty well.
Melissa, my close friend who easily blurs, I know you wanted to be sound-person at first but ended up you gave out the position. I was wondering when you told me you could try lighting because you too did not seem like a person who has much knowledge about lighting control. Still, you did it, amazingly. Proud to see your improvements.

To sound-person:
Steffi, I know that you wanted to try something different and you are more attracted by sound industry, it was a good chance for you to understand more about sound system. No doubt, from the beginning until the end, your efforts paid off.
Samuel, everyone knows you always put your earphones on. Actually not that people dislike you or often ignore you, but it is difficult for us to talk to you sometimes because you have your own style your strong personality. The same advice to you, be more conscious, be more helpful will definitely benefit you in future.

To Lovell (talent coordinator): Formerly I was quite angry because I thought you didn't do your responsibility in finding the talents we wanted, and you sounded blaming us. Yet fortunately, you did good in making-up the talents. The moment I said thank you, I really meant it.

To art department:
First of all, Weng Sheng, the talent of the day as well. I know how you wished to make all these happened. Lots of efforts could be seen, and we all really appreciate very much. What I want to tell is please trust your team, let us be sometimes. The reason you came to studio so early was your worries, you scared we would ruin it right? Even we got you out but you still, we caught you silently observed us at the staircases. Being too responsible sia. Anyway, thank you and your mom for being the talents, this really solved our trouble and of course the confession was a touching moment for everyone of us.
Daniel aka the host, improved a lot but concurrently, improvement needed. Your condition was much more better than last time, but remember, must make better in time management. You are the type who needs sleep to do thing. Thanks for cooperating well with us.
Kim Liang, a humorous classmate sometimes, always made the situation fun even we were working. Last time I thought that you would be blur or playful but nope at all, you did fantastic job, you helped us a lot. From backdrop to designing video tapes (Chee Ant did it too), I saw your hard-works.
Hooi Min and Khristina, both share the similarities in personality and attitude in works, alert girls when came to people's discrimination. This time I was surprised because you two showed up yourselves and really did something. From measuring, drawing, colouring and preparing props, proud to say both of you did well, keep it up.

To Jasslyn (me the scriptwriter): Lost. I am now still wondering is a scriptwriter really important? I don't think anyone of them think so, since I did not felt appreciated by most of them. What a sorrow for me. Maybe I was just looking for recognition. I know, the comment from lecturer "the script is beautifully done" was a comfort. Thank you people who supported me and assisted me, especially Violin and Daniel. Overall, I actually still feel that I contributed nothing aside from my absolute team spirit.

Anyhow, it's a wrap!
Thank you for everyone who made this a grateful and unforgettable memory!
Let's cherish the time we have and making more and more tears of joys.
Finally, the objectives of this TV programme have been reached, that is bring all of us as one successfully.

I remember the Dominos Pizza of the first night.
I remember the Mamak foods of the second night.
I remember the egg-mayo and cherry tomatoes in the early morning.
I remember the KFC lunch after recording.

一起哭,一起笑。
一起熬夜,一起留校。
这些妙日子,还剩下多少。

We are a bunch of crazy dreams pursuers!
Make A Wish, we can be succeed.

#Broadcasting #Broadcasters #MassCommunication  #BroadcastCommunication
#FriendsLove #friends #friendships
#classmates #M3RBC2 #UniversityCollegeLife
#assignment #MultiCameraProduction #MockLiveTVProgramme #MakeAWish
#就是这一班

Sunday 2 August 2015

长大的人泪

午时,我把已经打了半篇的文字删除了。
我告诉自己,不要再去想一大堆没营养的事情,这样只会杀死自己的脑细胞。

可是我后悔了。

现在处于泪崩模式。
已经超过一小时了。

人可不可以不要长大?

好吧,让人长大。
可是,谁下了规定,人长大了就注定少了快乐,而多的,只有烦恼,只有不再是自己的自己,只有想要抗拒并逃离的现实。

我其实很脆弱,真的很脆弱。

为什么我要伪装。
为什么,为什么还在问为什么。

一直想要给人家靠,除了证明自己还有用处,更重要的是因为自己明白,找不到合适的人依靠,找不到对象倾诉,这种痛苦。


我也是人,一个有感情的人,一个感情很细腻的人,一个感情过度细腻的人。


"Aries are sensitive even though they hide it very well."


别人看到的,永远只是表面光彩。

而我看到的,真的不是这样。
我知道每个人都肯定有内心的挣扎,表面上的快乐,真的是快乐吗?
到底什么是快乐?
我突然觉得,世界上没有快乐而言。
快乐的面具底下,都是一张又一张被摧残不已的脸孔。
谁快乐了?

我已经不擅长社交。

我不相信人心。
很难,真的很难再让我相信人。
我,真的,完全没有,说话的对象。
唯一的那个她,近来不好,我不想影响她。

若是再给我遇见我能够百分百信任的人,我想到时我也已经无法启齿,只能流泪不止了。


我累了。

我不想厌倦这个世界。
我不想憎恨人类。
我不想悲观。
我不想极端。
真的不想。

我好想笑,我好想好好地笑,我好想真心地笑。

但是,不可能了吗,回不去了吧。